Yes you are right. I was not happy. I was feeling like I was in a life I did
not want and I was blaming others for it. I was not taking responsibility
for the fact that I created it.
Now, I am creating something new. I am creating a life which I want, a life I
dream of. Of course, the long sunny days make it easier to be happy. But, I
have relieved the pressure I was putting myself in.
I miss you. I want to you to be here. I want to walk with you on a beach. I
want to look into your eyes and experience being with you. I want to touch
you and feel you.
But, I am totally fulfilled that you are not here. That it is all a fantasy
and it is this fantasy which creates the feelings of love and fulfillment.
I feel this is the right track. One day when we are old and need hip
replacements we may see each other again. Until then it is all a story of
being whisked away from here and being nutured under a mango tree.
I can live with the idea of this superstition.
I hope you are doing well. Enjoy your last summer in Switzerland. I hope
everything is going really well with your girlfriend.
Hugs and kisses,
Unity
hola bonita
another day. same work. same office. same mood.
your words don't sound too happy to me. follow your dreams unity, its
necessary. but i also know its absolutely difficult to do it. to step out
the systems. maybe we have to find our happiness in the little things every
day. maybe everlasting happiness is only available in little pieces. one by
one.
i'll try it. try to catch a big piece. i leave switzerland next february to
find out what my dream is like. step into other systems. mexico mi amor.
i cant visit you now. i will send you moments of a day. intimate view as you
were very close to me.
abrazo
manu
Missing Link
I am also at work.... sneaking moments of sun in the morning, lunch and
evenings before yoga. I feel so lost. So far away from my dreams. I know
that I just have to accept what is here in front of me and choose what is
happening but I resist it all so much.
Do I think of you? Yes. I wonder if you are my missing link.
I am yearning more in my life right now and so much has changed. What I
want is different.
Come visit me.
Unity
unity
i'm sitting here at work..winter's gone definitely and everythings powerful and green. its raining and its kind of hot, if i move too much or too fast i start to sweat immediately. i need spring, i need the summer with the energy of the sun and the beautiful nights outside. i want to be close to you this moment. i cannot concentrate these days, my mind is always somewhere else and my blood tells me to run, to be a little bit crazy and to break out this harmonic system.
as i was a snake, short before leave its skin.
what about you? what are you doing right now? do you often think about me?
be kissed a lot
manuel
Always in Love
i'm thinking of you. what are you doing right now? is your business going
well? are you happy? do you feel love? i wish only the best to you.
i'm tired right now...out of energy. every day is like running through, not
far away to loose the control over the things, the edge is running behind
me, following me fast. i need some days to come down, to relax, to feel
myself again, to do sport, to kiss a girl, to think about the things. my job
is well paid and the good thing on times like this is i have absolutely no
time to spend my money. so i'll save a lot for my future. no, i'm not the
type of person who saves thousands of dollars, swiss francs or what ever..i
live my life now and i will enjoy my days. but saving a little bit to mybe
buy me a piece of a beach in mexico..why not.
i never wanted to forget you. i always wanted you closer, but i am also a
dreamer. you cause lots of positive feelings in me...luck, love,
longing..lust..you aliment my thought in a very beautiful way. and don't
know what you exactly are to me, but its good to know you are there,
here..wherever.
its late..i need to go. we have to rebuild a huge exhibition tonight. think
of you
kisses
manuel
Life Happened
Dear Manu,
I don’t know what happened…. Life. Life happened.
We both grow and change. It seems to be our pattern to reach out every March
to touch and feel again.
Life happened here. I made decisions and now I choose. I choose that I have
responsibilities and possibilities.
I am the game.
The question I ask myself is what kind of player am I in the game of life?
My other question is: what happened that I decided to let you go?
I don’t think I could ever let you go. You touch me too deeply.
I choose you. I choose you as you come… on a different continent, far away,
with a girlfriend, out of touch for months, busy, a stranger and a lover, a
dream, a trip away from reality. I choose all of it. Last year, I felt that
I had to cut you out of my life… that you were unhealthy for me. So I made a
decision to forget you.
Now, I realize that I don’t have to forget you, nor do I have to meet you
again under papaya trees or anywhere else in the world. I choose you as the
mystery being who creates a deep thumping sensation in my groin.
Yes, I am looking for someone to design a retail store for me. Perhaps, it
will be you…. Perhaps not. Yes, your friend, Mika, is wonderful and sent me
many fantastic links…. Thank You. I am looking for jewelry right now. If you
can keep your eyes open for me… for something special and unique. If you can
find a winning line for me to represent... I would love you more. Thank you.
I am happy to hear that you will be moving to Mexico. Congratulations. This
is a beautiful dream now a possibility being placed into existence. It is
amazing to learn of your goals and hard work and motivation to make them happen.
I bought a house in Vancouver. Responsibility. I move in a month.
My business is doing well. I am looking for investors to invest in it. I
want to grow it. I believe very strongly in this business and every day I
meet opposition. Every day I choose what is happening and to approach my
incredible amount of activity and stress with grace and ease. I want to be a
demonstration of a powerful human with the capability to make dreams happen
just as they are dreamed and greater than even that.
I have re-read your past emails.... and I have chosen an onslaught of photos
to send to you... it has been so long. You will see India and two photos from
my new house before I took possession. It is a strange feeling this house is
in these photos. Alone and distant.
What I realized in choosing these photos from hundreds that are available... I
feel that you are one of a few who enjoys my photos.
flooding at lake atitlan, San Marcos
dearest unity
i'm sorry i didn't write you earlier. i am in mexico again. finally i find
time to come down, to have time, to find myself again. my thoughts are with
you every day. i hope you're doing well, better. oh my god..i don't know
where to start. i would love to spend 24hours with you, asking, telling and
find out what happened with you the last year.
i will connect you with poeple design clothing from zurich. i know some. let
me do it as soon as i'm back "home".
tell me more about this project. it sounds interesting, it also sounds a
little bit difficult. where do you want to sell, to exhibit the things? do
you have your own label? what are you working now?
how sick have you been? does it heal completely? why do you feel so lost?
you're such a wonderful person..beautiful in all the sensen i know. how can
it be you're feeling lost???
honestly..i would love to be by your side. no games, just being myself and
you're being yourself. it must be like this. everyone needs poeple around,
freinds in the darkest and badest times. sure, these times separate some
friends from others. but i'm sure there are still poeple -at least one- next
to you wich will stand by you ever.
please..write me all. i want you to share it with me.
hugs kisses from mexico city. thursday i'll fly to the mayan coast. or the
pacific coast..i don't know yet.
i'll write you more from there.
manuel
flooding at lake atitlan, San Marcos
Dear Manuel,
Here is some info forwarded to me from a friend. I thought you might find
it
interesting.
I hope you are well and happy. Today is Thanks Giving in Canada - a
holiday
to give Thanks. Do you have it in Switzerland?
I would like to share with you, but, I also feel opening up to you is a
habit
which I need to break. If you want to know more about me or my year.
Please,
just ask. Otherwise, I have grown accostomed to being silent on who I am.
It
is funny growing. I feel like I am walking a tough path right now. My
health
has been struggling this year - I got extremely sick in India, and I still
have not recovered 100%. My emotions have been tested, I have been
tested, I
feel so distant from my family and Van friends. I feel like I am living
something different which is not understood. I feel alone. I have never
felt
like this before and this experience is so intense and electrifying. I am
guarded and distrustful. I had experiences in India which changed my
being so
much. I had to take on personalities to protect myself from ..... I had
to
survive, and that is what happened. I was challenged and I pushed to get
through what was happening.
Now, I am different, and people prefer me to be the light hearted, loving,
laughing, giving, understanding, strong support which I have always been.
But, now I need people to support me.... and where are they?
I am thankful to have known you. I am thankful to have shared with you.
Thank you.
I hope you and your girlfriend are very happy and enjoying your
relationship.
Lots of luck and joy to the both of you.
If you have any information you could pass along to me regarding clothing
designers in Switzerland, I would love to have it. I am looking to import
clothing this year. Something different and unique than what is currently
available in Vancouver and/or Canada. I feel that you could help me out
here. Your help would be very much appreciated.
Love,
Unity
